So...I Am Still Tired...But...

But...

I just keep trying to tell myself that I will get my energy back soon...my oncologist says that within 90 days after stopping Big Chemo...I will start to feel better! I am holding on to that thought by my fingertips.

Literally...

Now I introduce you to a series of random thoughts brought on by something called "chemobrain"...

I know people either love cats or don't love them...an unimaginable thought to me although I never knew a cat ever until I met Den who brought his Siamese to our wedding where my parents fell in love with her and kept her forever...anyway...I am giving you a sample of "chemobrain"...I can aimlessly chatter and then start to cry. It drives Saint Den crazy and then I end up laughing and we both end up laughing and then I start to cry all over again!

Mostly it starts like this...

Remember when we went to concerts?

Remember when we traveled?

Remember when we used to eat out at restaurants?

Remember when I could wear all the clothes I am buying and stockpiling because we had so many places to go?

Or I might say to him...when I was little my next door neighbor was an elderly lady named Mrs. Streeter...she had a cat named Momma Kitty...why would anyone name a cat Momma? Den...do you think Momma was her first name and Kitty was her last name? Do you? At this point he is barely listening to me...

OMG! I am making myself crazy!

That...my dear blogger buddies...is what I put Den through daily...The remember when's are different but...the pattern is the same!

Books...

Finished this but haven't started a new one yet...but I will!

 

Have a happy lovely weekend!

Hugs,

Patty

These two are my guardians...I know their little kitty hearts watch over me...if I am in bed they are always in these spots...behind my head...

In my lap...

 

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Tired Today...

But what's new? I am always tired...I wake up with a plan to do this and go there and I just can't...this kind of fatigue has no explanation...it's just there...Nurse Debbie says it's just all the rounds of chemo my body has gone through...but I just need to get strong enough to get through one more...I can't think...I can't even read at my normal pace...I just want to sit and rest but that doesn't allow the fatigue to go away because it just doesn't go away. I am unexplainably sad and then deliriously happy. I am anemic and crabby and low on red blood cells and magnesium and I am snappy with Saint Den when I have no right to be snappy with anyone. I should put myself in a room and sit quietly until I get over these feelings.

Will I ever be me again? Probably not...I was touched by something I never thought twice about...a debilitating illness that will always and forever be in my life. Can I deal with it? I hope so...

Forgive me for this...it's just a bad day...

 

Books...

this one remains so good...narcissism...fascinating...totally fascinating...I should be finished with this one today. It's one of those books where you can't stop reading because you need to know who took them...if anyone really took them!

Up next?

I think this...I need edgy...

Or this...I need beachy...

Or this...

I may need fantasy...

Dinner...

This looks so good...

But so does this...lately Den and I both love one pan wonders...this one is chicken and rice and broccoli and mushrooms...all cooked in one pot in the oven...eventually!

I am spent...

Hugs,

Patty

 

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Wednesday...

So...today...once I really get up and start moving...I am venturing outside to check out where Den placed all of the empty flower pots...Den wants tons more flowers this year...he forgets how much work they take...but I don't even remember last summer so I really think he wants to do this for me. And that will be fine. Right now we have windows open and that white lilac smell is filling the house with a light beautiful smell. We need to get a fern for the front porch and yellow and white and pink and purple flowers for everywhere else. This year there is some ground cover coming up through the mulch and we are keeping it...it came from my parents' house and it stubbornly pops up every year. It causes a huge Den and Patty discussion every year...Den normally hates it...but this year he is allowing it to stay...and it makes me so happy! I have to go to Oncology today to give blood and after that we have heard a rumor about a secret flower seller in our town who gets his flowers from nearby Amish farmers so we are going there to check it out. My lips are sealed about where this place is...too funny!

I can't wait until my Tuesdays and Wednesdays are free from these visits! You just have no idea!

Books!

This one is really fascinating...it's really about narcissism. It's set up so that the reader has no clue where these two sisters have been for three years. It's set up so that you have to think that the family is involved in some way. It's good...really good.

It's 12:18 and I still haven't moved or gotten dressed...I have one kitty trying to get the straw out of my water bottle and the other one holding me hostage...well...now both of them are holding me hostage...

Sigh!

Hugs!

Patty

 

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It's Always About Books...And Food And Clothes And Shoes!

So...I just started this book...the premise is that two sisters who have a narcissistic mother...at one point she asks her younger daughter to call her Mrs. Martin...disappear...but the younger one appears at her own front door three years later under a huge mysterious cloud...I am just getting into it but it definitely is fascinating. It felt as though I was never going to finish The Sunshine Girls...it just took me a long time to read it!

 

Food...

This was yesterday's lunch...it was so delicious...the crispy cannelloni beans were amazing...it's from The Kitchn...

This is today's slow cooker dinner...Turkey meatballs from Skinnytaste!

Today's outfit...it's soooo comfy...

These shoes...so comfy, too! They fit perfectly!

 

I found this photo on my iPad yesterday but I knew I didn't take it...Den saw the sunlight streaming in through the windows of the sunroom and snapped it. I bought the flag for Den for Valentine's Day...I think I might have mentioned this...I thought it would fit on the mantle but it's too big and heavy...so it's temporary resting place is here...for now...

Windows are open...we have a white lilac in the front of the house that is sending its fragrance everywhere in the house...

It's lovely...

Hugs,

Patty

 

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Monday!

Our weekend was a quiet one...and that was fine...we talked about the funny quirkiness of our moms...we read...and we watched the antics of the newly hatched baby geese. We watched the Boston marathon movie...which was sad but inspirational and really really good.

It was a Nuelasta weekend but thanks to pain meds it was ok...and right now I am sipping tea while I prep to work out. Thank God Nuelasta pain is predictable...a shot on Thursday but by Monday joint and muscle pain is gone...whew! One more to go! Yea, Patty! I can do this! I love cheering myself onward!

Books...

I just finished this and it was ok...a good ok...kept my interest...lots of food references...a totally dysfunctional family...perhaps too much dysfunction to be totally believable...but a good kind of book for a Nuelasta weekend.

New books! All from Edelweiss...all interesting...I love every cover!

Off to work out...more about the books later...

Have a great day!

Hugs,

Patty

 

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