But...
I just keep trying to tell myself that I will get my energy back soon...my oncologist says that within 90 days after stopping Big Chemo...I will start to feel better! I am holding on to that thought by my fingertips.
Literally...
Now I introduce you to a series of random thoughts brought on by something called "chemobrain"...
I know people either love cats or don't love them...an unimaginable thought to me although I never knew a cat ever until I met Den who brought his Siamese to our wedding where my parents fell in love with her and kept her forever...anyway...I am giving you a sample of "chemobrain"...I can aimlessly chatter and then start to cry. It drives Saint Den crazy and then I end up laughing and we both end up laughing and then I start to cry all over again!
Mostly it starts like this...
Remember when we went to concerts?
Remember when we traveled?
Remember when we used to eat out at restaurants?
Remember when I could wear all the clothes I am buying and stockpiling because we had so many places to go?
Or I might say to him...when I was little my next door neighbor was an elderly lady named Mrs. Streeter...she had a cat named Momma Kitty...why would anyone name a cat Momma? Den...do you think Momma was her first name and Kitty was her last name? Do you? At this point he is barely listening to me...
OMG! I am making myself crazy!
That...my dear blogger buddies...is what I put Den through daily...The remember when's are different but...the pattern is the same!
Books...
Finished this but haven't started a new one yet...but I will!
Have a happy lovely weekend!
Hugs,
Patty
These two are my guardians...I know their little kitty hearts watch over me...if I am in bed they are always in these spots...behind my head...
In my lap...
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I talk endlessly about random topics, too, but I have no chemobrain excuse...mine is from being alone all day every day, not talking to live people. LOL. Except when I go to the grocery store or a restaurant. Sometimes my voice comes out scratchy from not using it.
ReplyDeleteI hope you have a wonderful weekend, and enjoy whatever you read next. Thanks for the great suggestion about hair color. My daughter will get an organic color for me.
I have Emma in the Night...from NetGalley.
I had to do spot tests on a number of organic ones...my head grew too used to them, too , and the reactions stirred up yet again. Good luck!
DeleteYou are having interesting conversations. He loves you and being near you + being there every step of the way is what matters most to him.
ReplyDeleteWe are probably having too many conversations!
DeletePatty, you made me laugh with this one...LOL...Yeah, why did she name her Momma Kitty?!? Sounds like some of your conversations are quirky and kind of interesting!...Lol...Not to worry, my dear...this too will pass. I'm sure Den does an internal shaking of the head as he waits for the love of his life to normalize. He's a great guy. God bless you both. ☆♡☆ :-)
ReplyDeleteYou need to stop here on one of your trips! I need a hug! So do my babies!
DeleteI had no idea you never had cats in your life until Den brought one to your wedding!
ReplyDeleteI think you are keeping Den entertained and certainly thinking. :)
I hope you start to feel your energy coming back. Right now it seems like a long time until you will feel more energetic, but I know it is coming back slowly every day. Hope you feel a difference this week!
Hugs!
~Stephanie
I do feel my energy coming back but then it slips away again...after this last Big Chemo I should feel bad for a bit but progressively better! I hope I hope I hope!
DeleteYou sound like me, and my excuse is that I talk to my pets out loud all day because they know some words and learn others, and tell by the tone of my voice what mood I'm in.
ReplyDeleteI ramble when I talk to my family because my daily meds "loosen my brain up"-- they've been described as feeling like you've had a couple of drinks (and I don't drink anymore), oh well. I'm sure Den doesn't mind, he just wants you to be at your happiest and that will come... soon.
Love Roxie's cute photo!
Heeheehee....frankly I think I am making Den crazy! Thank you!
ReplyDeleteHeeheehee...I guess rambling is another word for chemobrain!
DeleteFrom my own experience I know it'll get better. If you are looking for a really good read I can recommend The Garden of Small beginnings by Abbi Waxman - it is really witty as well as important. Cheers from Carole's Chatter
ReplyDeleteThank you Carole...I did read and love that book!
DeleteI talk about random topics lately too. I love how Den has a new name, Saint Den! He needs a little statue of himself.
ReplyDeleteMaybe random topic talking is healthy?
Delete