Friday, June 16, 2017

A Different Day And Random Thoughts...

I can only say thank you...and it is a thank you from my all of my friends who had such positive words for me yesterday...I think it will take a while for me to calm down and actually live my life a little at a time...that's what I am trying to do...unfortunately sitting around waiting for my hair to grow sometimes isn't such a good thing!

But I am doing it anyway!

Still reading this...and while I don't love it...I also don't hate it...yet! It is one of those books that started off so good but now that I am in the middle of it I am tired of all of them...the pot smoking mom, the sister who is in the midst of an affair with her boss, the brother whose partner wants to bring a third person into their relationship. Ick! They are all supposed to attend their daughter/sister's wedding in England but everyone has issues with attending. If I am totally honest with myself I have to admit to not enjoying this book but I don't know what to do about it! So I keep on reading!

Up next?

No mood is weird and I have no clue what I want to read. This one? But it's even more family dysfunction...sigh! I might go back to some fluffy sweet beach books...

So...our week end will be a quiet's still hard to not have a dad to call on Father's Day...l will never get used to it...Den and I will tuck ourselves away and read and color and watch movies...I simply will not be able to really go out until I have a fistful of hair...I just can't. I know I disappoint Den every day by saying I will go somewhere with him but even if I go I can't leave the car. Sigh!

Aren't these sandals sweet? I want them...from Free People...


Hungry for baked pastas...but...ziti stacking? No way!

This one is's got cauliflower in it!
This one is straight up decadent! Yum!


Be back on Monday!




Thursday, June 15, 2017

Trying To Find A Calming Influence...

So...what I know about myself is that I have a tendency to forego any kind of peaceful calm for stress, tension and extreme fear and worry. That's where I am right now. I have to have an ordinary cat scan today but it has me totally freaking out. Last year at around this time I never knew what a cat scan I am way too familiar with them. Cat scans make sure that nothing evil is lurking in my body. But they make my imagination run head is filled with irrational what if's...I am scared, worried and again...I can't calm myself down. Sigh...I really cannot calm down. And I won't really know what any of it means until next Wednesday when we sit down with the oncologist. If everything is fine we go a longer time without a cat scan and seeing him. If things are not fine I freak out again. And this is my life from now on...other than waiting for my hair to grow. I don't have enough Dr.Whos, Bizarre Food Destinations, Diners Drive Ins and Dives, Bloodlines, Shadowhunters and Assistant Principals to keep my mind off of this stuff until next Wednesday. I can get a grip on this reality and then lose it in minutes. A kitty in my lap helps...Den helps...friends and family help...but ultimately this is mine to do alone.

I am so sorry for this not so happy post.

In the beginning they would let Den wear a protective suit and come in with me...I was so freaked out. I couldn't be flat on my back because I had a fear of not being able to breath after surgery...Den held my hand and kept me calm. I am past that now but just barely...just barely.

The scan will be over by ten...and I will be back home to calm down soon after that...hopefully!

I wonder if the radiologist can detect a massive vodka shot in the scan?

I need one!






Wednesday, June 14, 2017

What Happened?

So...have you ever had a night when you fell asleep and didn't really wake up until 6 ish but the only reason you woke up was because two normally sweet kitties were sort of fighting on your head? My kitties are so sweet but their kitty tummies tell them breakfast needs to be served at 6:00 AM! Every single day!

That was my night! I think it was Den's night, too!

The last thing I remember was watching TV and reading and then not watching TV and not reading. But...the more time my body has without Chemo the more normal my body I am sleeping the way I used to. I don't want to jinx anything but I seriously think I have a fairly fuzzy head. I have my look planned...I am going to wear buffs around my head while my hair grows's supposed to be fuzzy at first and then could be curly or wavy or a different color! I have a stash of these in all different colors...I am ready to rock these buffs!

Books! far this book is yummy! It's about a step brother and sister who really resent their really wealthy step sister and her dysfunction at its finest!

I love this cover!




Tuesday, June 13, 2017

Salad Days?

It is amazing that we were kind of cold last week but have been thrust into the midst of a heatwave yesterday and today. My hydrangea bushes are actually wilting when the sun is on them and then they pop up again in the far!

I love hydrangeas!

All I want to eat this week are cold things. Salads...sorbet...lemonade!

Especially Den's Lemonade that he fills with tons of grated frozen fresh good!

What I think I want to read...

this heat makes me yearn for dysfunction...this book is out in case you want to be dysfunctional along with me! Thank you, NetGalley!


I am a little sad, a little lost, a little bereft...but that's to be expected because I am basically sitting around waiting for my hair to grow. I really truly am. Chemo brings its own big bag of dysfunction. My mantra is one day at a time.




Monday, June 12, 2017


The one I am just finishing...


The one I just started...twins who don't speak to each they have weird dysfunctional habits.

The ones I just got...from Edelweiss...

All descriptions from Amazon...

"A mesmerizing debut psychological thriller full of delicious twists about a coolly manipulative woman who worms her way into the lives of a wealthy "golden couple" from Connecticut to achieve the privileged life she wants."



"Ruth Emmie Lang dazzles with her inventive and magical debut. Told with brains and heart, Beasts of Extraordinary Circumstance introduces a protagonist who is both mythical and relatable. Weylyn Grey leaves a lasting impression on everyone he meets, and he will on readers too."―Michelle Gable, New York Times bestselling author of A Paris Apartment and I'll See You in Paris


"A captivating debut about wealth, envy, and secrets: the story of five women whose lives are dramatically changed by the downfall of a financial titan"


"From the acclaimed author of Visitation Street, a visionary and masterful portrait of contemporary Los Angeles"

The one I can't get...yet...

"A marvel-a thrillingly intelligent, witty and tragic look at love and class in Manhattan."―Newsweek

That's my stash! And I am not really in the mood for any of them!