Joy...

I don't know how I will feel each day when I wake up...my stomach often feels as though I have a tight rubber band around it...it often hurts but Dr. Rhodes...the surgeon...says that is normal for the amount of healing I need to do...which may take months and months and months. Sometimes if I am walking my circuit around the house I get out of breath...sometimes walking up the stairs at the day's end...I get out of breath...again...to be expected. Tears, not ever feeling really hungry, fatigue, these are all huge issues to overcome in my efforts to get better and stronger. I could not walk around the grocery store today and shop...it would be too much for me. Sometimes getting in and out of the car for appointments...is exhausting...driving over bumps...painful...sleeping through the night...elusive. I have stress filled and anxious feelings that I never had before. I take something for them. If I didn't I would probably cry nonstop. I think I mentioned that I have never been ill before...never needed the hospital...never had even a tiny health scare...until now...

But none of the above phased me like wearing that wound vac. I will eat protein and drink orange juice at every meal if I have to. And yes...I have to go back next Monday...so that wound can be checked out...yet again!

But...here are my joyful notes!

I walked to the car with Den with both arms swinging free!

I got up about 50 times without unplugging something.

I went to the bathroom without hanging a black bag on the door.

I carried things into the house...a bag in each hand!

I got my nightgown out of a drawer without trying to figure out where to put the vac!

I looked normal...walking to the car...without loops of see through tubes with gunk flowing through them!

A friend spent the afternoon with me today...it was delightful!

I slept better!

What I mean to say is this...

the joyful notes out weigh the unjoyful notes!

 

 

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