Thursday, November 3, 2016

Lost Days...Or Is This A Post About Crying?

 

Life...

After my treatment yesterday...we got home at about 2:00...I walked upstairs, took a shower, got in bed and slept until 6:15...when Den literally had to shake me to wake me up! I don't remember dinner at all! OMG! I think that a part of the treatment is an infusion of Benedryl which gives me really twitchy legs there and knocks me out when I come home.

Today I went to make a reconnection visit with our primary doctor. He made time for us to talk about all that has happened to me since surgery in July. He answered every one of my questions so patiently. I barely cried! He again...stressed that positive attitude that I have to have and its effect on my immune system...I think I am positive but every now and then there are tears...sad tears...pitiful tears for me that I try to get past. How sweet is it when your doctor hugs you and kisses your head before you leave! Of course I cried again!

Plus...certain parts of my life are on hold for now. I can't really travel...I am about 75% of my old self...I am often not hungry...I can't use my normal toothpaste...I can't use my normal mouthwash. I can't be around children. I can't get manicures or pedicures...I can't go to movie theatres. I get steroids once a week, too, and I think I have "roid rage". It's just petty stuff that won't be forever...but...I miss it. I won't miss the steroid rage...neither will Den. I cry really hard when I talk to my sister Paula...especially when she says she knows my mom is watching over me. I cry when I talk to my brothers. I know it embarrasses them but I still cry. I cry when I talk to my sister in law Betsy because she always is so calm and has great advice. I cry when I talk to my sister in law Kathy because she just keeps telling me how much she loves me. I cried when I talked to my brother in law Chris yesterday just because he says sweet things. Hmmm...I think I might cry a little no matter whom I talk to...that's what my neighbor Jane says...so I just warn everyone that I am going to cry! Debbie the Nurse at the treatment center says it's ok to cry...but I am trying not to overdo it! Sigh!

Writing this post today is making me cry...just a little!

Books...

Reading and loving this book! I think it's YA but it reads a bit older...I guess being at a boarding school is most definitely a sign of YA. Watson is a boy...Holmes is a girl and it's in our time and they are generations removed from their Watson and Holmes relatives. The writing is fun! The writing is delicious. The characters are cool. The plot is fascinating!

Food...
I am fascinated with this giant meatball from Skinnytaste! I think I might have to make it! Garbage Bread and Giant Meatballs! What is up with my cravings lately?
I am tired today...
I hope your day is a lovely one!
Hugs always!
Patty

 

 

 

16 comments:

  1. I just saw that giant turkey meatball!! Looks so good I was thinking of trying it next week. Let me know how it turns out if you decide to make it.
    Steroids wreak havoc with your emotions, but you have plenty to be emotional about even without them. Glad there are so many supportive people around you... big hugs today!!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! And...this is a tearless hug!

      Delete
  2. Ok, I LOL'd when I saw the giant meatball :)
    I'm so glad your family is in touch and you can be open and emotional with them. Your MD sounds wonderful too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He is...and I left him for awhile...but never again! I know...why do I want that giant meatball?

      Delete
  3. It's okay to cry. Express yourself. Don't hold it in. This is your journey and you sure as heck can do whatever you need to do to get through it. Hugs.

    ReplyDelete
  4. I think you have a positive attitude and you're entitled to some tears. Things will get better.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Crying can be a healing thing, and you are going through a lot. I'm glad that you're reading and thinking of good things to eat. Thanks for sharing. Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Do you feel better after crying? When I cry, it's usually a "can't take it anymore" response so it usually does me a world of good to just let go.

    I'm sorry the Benadryl knocked you out but rest is such a wonderful, restorative thing. Your body needs it. I wouldn't fight it too much.

    That meatball!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Actually...I think my nature is to say something ridiculously funny that Den laughs at and I stop crying...but I do cry a lot lately!

      Delete
  7. I'm a big fan of crying. Holding Back the Tears made for a good song back in the eighties, but in real life, I think it's best to let them out. Hang in there, and don't forget to drink plenty of water after a good cry 😊

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you, Maggie...I will drink lots of water!

      Delete
  8. It's okay to cry! Let it out when you talk to people who care about you; you'll feel better for not keeping your feelings pent-up. I cry... a lot... I embarrass my younger daughter because I cry at doctor appointments for everyone in my family-- I'm reminded then of all the medical issues my small family has-- but I shouldn't complain. I cry when I'm in pain and my medicine doesn't give me relief. But our troubles pale contrasted with yours right now.

    Here's to positive thoughts! So here's a "teary hug" for you, and keep on keepin' on, Patty!

    ReplyDelete