Books...Continued...Cravings...Continued...

I thought I would be finished with this book yesterday but I am only a measly halfway through...I will finish today because Home is waiting for me...or it should be waiting for me!

I love Overdrive...but I have to wonder about the people reading books ahead of me...I am next to read Home...shouldn't that be soon? I have been 17th to read Elin Hildebrand's summer book for over 4 months! You can only keep ebooks for two weeks! So what is up with that? I read my books and return them right away! But apparently not many people do that. I really would love to talk to the person who is hogging the Elin Hildebrand book!

And that's the problem with Overdrive and libraries. I...naively...thought that reading ebooks through your library online meant instant access...but it truly means unending waiting!

Cravings...

I am still craving all things PUMPKIN! This is a Pumpkin Slab Pie! Who knew there could be such a wondrous thing?

And this...Butternut Squash Gratin!

And this...it's a White Cannelini Bean Gratin!

And from Simply Recipes...little meatballs and raviolis!

We are desperately trying to have a normal weekend...planting some mums, sitting on the deck, watching some college football...

Hugs,

Patty

 

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This Book!

 

OMG!

I am in love with this book!

It is truly every single thing I love in a book. Quirky writing, unique and engaging yet thoroughly dysfunctional characters. However it is the kind of dysfunction that seems fun and harmless at first but the more I read the more I realize that husband and wife Don and Viv are truly messed up. So sad! Don is kind of named after Donald Duck! That's an entire story in itself!

I love their quirky kids and friends, too. Not sure if I love where the story is headed...kind of due to an amazing horse that Viv is enthralled with...that would be Mercury!

A magnificent horse that will change these lives forever!

Oh my!

I need to read more of Margot Livesy's books!

This one!

Hugs,

Patty

 

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First Day Of My Altered Life...

 

So...I wrote this last Thursday and never posted it...

 

Ok...I am not in denial any more...chemotherapy is a part of my life for the next 6 to 8 months. I went last Thursday for the very first time. I have to admit that as kind as everyone is...I was a mess...tears, fears, and a total lack of any kind of hope and courage. Men are there hooked up to Iv's...sleeping, reading, or watching tv. Woman are knitting or reading or napping. Everyone was eating something that they brought or something that was there. Nurses are so kind and attentive. They see my tears and come running to hug me and tell me it will be ok. They share stories and try to make everything ok while you are there.

The routine will be the same for a while...Benedryl, steroids, anti nausea drugs and the chemo drugs. I am getting a milder dosage of chemotherapy drugs. Every Wednesday...I just pop in...get blood work...and get chemo...the place I will go to has little booths, comfy chairs, your own tv and heated blankies. Den will not have to come with me every time. I have friends who want to "sit" with me. I have been told that the first few days I will feel amazing and the last few days I will feel fatigued. But by that time it's Wednesday and we start all over again.

People lead normal lives...they go to work, church, etc. but I feel as though I want to stay close to home. You are supposed to stay away from "germy" places...schools, kids, crowds. Den has placed Purcell everywhere in our house. I find myself thinking about long walks in forests and sitting on beaches staring at the ocean. But I have to get strong enough to take long walks. I look as though I am strong but am not there yet. I can't even talk about hair and hats yet...it may or may not happen. Everyone says it grows back and it's nothing but I am just not there yet. Mentally or physically. I am collecting hats just in case.

So today...I feel good...there are usually sweet cards and surprises in the mail from family and friends...my sister Paula sent this knitted shawl...Lucy and Roxie's vet sent the most beautiful prayer card. I don't need these things but it breaks my heart that people even think of me. Kim K...your cards in the mail are a joyful note for me! I am missing my niece's wedding in Milwaukee...we have had reservations for months...and I can't go. Den just cancelled everything. My heart breaks again.

Hats! I am prepping...hats!

 

The shawl my sister made me.

So...that's my life...so far...today is Wednesday and I go again today.

Hugs,

Patty

 

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Life...

I am still reading this and I am really just enjoying it...there is no speedreading or deadline for me...just relaxed joyful reading. I may write a review and I may not. For me right now it's all about just reading the book.

Yesterday was port day...my doctors and nurses need an easy access to a vein. Most of my veins are literally invisible and can't be found for blood work. Unfortunately I totally didn't understand what getting a port meant. Twilight sleep, in and out, easy...those were the words I took in. But what it really meant was back to the hospital and checking in and doing the exact same things that I did before the nine hour surgery. Waiting and blood work and finally being wheeled to the surgery floor and waiting some more. This waiting is tense because I was in a hallway watching booted and masked doctors and nurses race around. I could hear bits of their conversations and they weren't pleasant. Knees and groins and colons and bowels! These were what were being operated on. I tried to go to a quiet faraway zone but I couldn't make it. I just sat there waiting and listening...especially the groin talk. There were way too many bowel alterations and groin fixes going on!

But finally it was my turn...yikes! The anesthesiologist comes first to chat and because I have difficulty breathing if I lie flat on my back...my diaphragm was cut as a part of the surgery...a concern was raised about twilight sleep. I had to lie on my back absolutely still for the port placement. If I couldn't do this I would get that tube down my throat thing and sedation. Apparently I could not stay still so they changed to sedation. Today I have a really sore throat! My surgeon told me that she has put in thousands of ports without problems until me...she could not find a vein! My veins lie deep and refuse to surface! An hour surgery including recovery turned into over three hours! Den was in the family waiting room waiting uneasily...more deja vu!

Oh...and while I was in the busy surgery hallway...holding a box of kleenex...wailing...two older nurses scooted close to me to look at my skin and tell me they didn't believe my age...I still cried. Then the surgeon came over and saw me crying forlornly and she hugged me and cried. Then the anesthesiologist came over and cried. And everyone apparently knew my story...Patty...the girl from the nine hour surgery! They knew of my rapid heart beat, my heparin allergy, the blood clots, the wound vac and now the port! The allergists wants me studied. I say no! I need to get my normal back! Lol!

Anyway...the port is in and I am fine...so far!

Take care and stay healthy. I blame organic food and way too many vegetables for this mess I am in...maybe I need some nitrate filled hot dogs?

Teasing!

Love you all!

Hugs,

Patty

 

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Books And Bedtime!

So...what I think is helping me fall back to sleep at night is reading complicated mysteries. And...if they are based in little towns outside of London...I fall asleep even faster! I never realized how complicated it is to actually fall asleep. I swear I am awake and sleepless but Den insists that I have been asleep with the TV on! I guess I can't really doubt him! But I do think that staying in bed when I wake up helps...so hopefully I am sleeping more than I think I am. If I wake up I just grab my Kindle and read my complicated mystery. It works for me now.

 

Anyway...the books...complicated mysteries...they are all that I want to read right now...whether they are in England or not.

Here are some new favorites!

I just read an article about how to fall asleep and stay asleep...camomile tea loaded with honey is supposed to put you to sleep like a baby! Cherry Juice is supposed to work, too, and just regular milk. I will probably try them all.

Nighty Night!

Patty

 

 

 

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