Wednesday, September 28, 2016


So...I finished all of the fluffy cozy mystery books that I wanted to finish. Whew! They were fun but I can't read more than one or two of them at a time.

I am reading this by an author that I really enjoyed years ago...sort of stopped enjoying for a while...but this book has me intrigued again.

All of our furniture is here...including my new bedroom chair...which reclines slightly and which is extremely comfortable.
Our reworking of existing pieces was fun. The family room sofa is now in the living room.
The red chair from the family room is in an upstairs bedroom.
The overstuffed chair and ottoman from the family in Den's study...his new reading chair.
Stored in the basement are the small more formal living room sofa, my antique school desk, a rocker, and a wicker chair and ottoman. Whew!
In our bedroom...the kitties have reclaimed my overstuffed pink ticking chair and ottoman as well as a wicker side table for their water dish. So far they are not very accepting of this new arrangement...they continue to hop on the new chair and over to my nightstand where their water used to be...I's ridiculous but these two are demanding and we have to live with them. We try to keep their stuff confined to our room as opposed to scattered all over the house. Their beds used to be on a white wicker chaise which is now back in the sunroom and they know something is different. You would think they would be oblivious to these changes but they also seem to think we need their approval. They have been hopping in and out of beds...trying to determine what is different. They have also refused to drink from their new water placement. Roxie actually drank out of my water glass yesterday.
This morning! Finally! Roxie is deep into the blanket on the green bed. And I saw both of them drink water.
My new chair...or should I say our new chair? Both Lucy and Roxie have spent most of yesterday hopping on and off of the chair. Roxie actually crawled up and into the new chair which totally freaked us out and gave me yet one more cause for worry.
As I reread this post I sort of smiled thinking that this sounds like the old Patty...but then I remember that I am not the "old" Patty. I wake up every morning wondering how my body will feel. I have this kind of squeezing feeling of tightness around my chest every day. Some days it's easy to ignore...other days it isn't. Moving helps. Tylenol helps. Sometimes crying helps. It's supposed to mean healing but to me it means hurting.
We still can't plan dinners properly...I mean we still eat what we would normally eat ( sort of ) but by the time we think about dinner...we are both too exhausted to do anything about it. Every Monday we discuss easy dinners with little prep...Den wants me to just tell him what to do but just doesn't seem worth it to start cooking something. He does so much that cooking at the end of the day seems wrong. So...we rely on healthy takeout. Soups from local restaurants, sandwiches that are organic and local, the kindnesses of neighbors and friends. Yogurts, cottage cheese, jello and pudding cups...milk...peanut butter, eggs...these are the things we stock up on...yesterday I remembered string cheese and craved that. I am just not that hungry.
And of course every day stuff needs to be done...Den gives me small tasks...folding laundry, dusting...but I sneak in other things if I can. I am sleeping a little better and longer at night as I do more walking but I reach a point of exhaustion every day...actually two points...I wake up tired and I am really tired by late afternoon. My PT...Joanna...tells me I should nap for an hour every day. I try. Right now it's early morning and I just want to close my eyes...
So...that's old/new Patty's life lately!
Take care...



Monday, September 26, 2016

Who Knew?

Sunday afternoon...

I think I really do have my desire to read back again. Of all the starts and stops I have had I ended up getting quietly engrossed in some cozy mysteries that involve foods, recipes, Hannah the bake shop owner, two dudes she could be romantically involved with and a very spoiled kitty. And after staring at these books for a while...I realized that they were the basis for the Hallmark Channel mysteries...too funny.

Joanna Fluke...wherever you are...thank you! I may work my way through all of her books and TV movies. I think it's a combination of the bright colors and the recipes that drew me in. Either way...I don't care...I am reading...genres that are more my style should come soon!


Last night or early Monday morning...

It's 3:07 AM and I just now woke up...I tried falling back to sleep but I couldn't but this is a long stretch of sleep for me! I will read for a bit and I bet I will fall asleep soon! Den and Lucy are sound asleep! Roxie and I are the ones who are up in the night...Roxie is quietly exploring...she just tucked herself next to Den...I should do that, too! This was during Sunday's Bronco game...we are both so excited! Go Broncos!

Have a great Monday!


Friday, September 23, 2016

My Life...Rerouted...Again...

Today was supposed to be the first day of chemotherapy for me. We were up early...Den made oatmeal...I hydrated...we got there. I spent the car ride shaking and crying...calm was out of the question.

They had to do blood work first. This is where the trouble took too long to find a vein for simple blood work so now I have to have a port. The initial thought was that I could get the port later but chemotherapy could start intravenously...unfortunately that's not happening!

A port is minor surgery at the hospital. I am at risk a bit because I have to stop the blood clotting meds I take to prevent blood clots for three days prior to port installation. The risk is small but it's one more thing to freak out over.

Anyway...right now chemotherapy number 1 is scheduled for Friday...Sept. 30th...I can't believe I have to go through this all over again.

I am exhausted...literally so tired I can not keep my eyes open. When will I get my happiness back?



Not A Great Night...

Apparently I was exhausted from the excitement of the furniture and walking around adding little touches and and making little adjustments. Once we had dinner and went upstairs I fell asleep at 9:30 but was up and wired at 10:20. I read, watched TV on my iPad and fell back to sleep but was up every few hours until I was in my chair and not in bed. I was cold and the tight band around my upper tummy that everyone says is a sign of healing just ached and hurt. No one knows when it will go away so I pretty much just feel it all of the time. There are days when I am not sure I will ever feel great again. Even on good days...I know the bad days are still out there. Sometimes my positive attitude is a little elusive. This is one of those days. Roxie does her best to comfort and soothe. She is so sweet.

Today is the first day that I actually go to Chemotherapy. Needless to say I am freaked out. I have no idea how to handle this...I just pray I can actually do it...and as ridiculous as it sounds I just want all of this to go away. I plan on staying in my house until this treatment is over. Of course I am freaking out about my hair even though everyone is telling me not to. Den is armed with list after list of rules about foods etc...and questions for my oncologist. I just want to get there, endure what I have to endure and come home and get under the covers. His way...during my life interrupted.

Every Christmas our favorite restaurant offers a special way to buy extra dinner coupons...not really coupons but if you bought $200.00 toward dinner Michael...the owner...tossed in an extra $75.00 so you could actually have 2 almost paid for dinners. While organizing my desk yesterday we realized that $75.00 was going to expire on Oct. Den either has to go eat alone or we lose them. Michael...a very kind man...said we could use them when I felt better...and as much as I have missed going there he missed seeing us. Tears and more tears to the kindnesses people have extended to us.

I am prepared for today to be an incredibly rough day. I will try my best to stay strong but...I am not sure I can.

I don't even feel right asking for your thoughts...there are so many other people who need prayers and comfort...and in spite of my fears and misery...I feel blessed by the comfort of family, friends and strangers...yes...strangers...the new people we meet who offer prayers and hugs. I go to my new sister Paula says that every day she says a little prayer asking our mom and dad to wrap their arms around me. Thank you, Mom and Dad and Paula! My brothers both pray for me...thank you Jim and John! I love you all!





Thursday, September 22, 2016

12 To 3...

Everyone waiting for repairmen, services or deliveries knows what a huge boring window of wasted time that is! We are waiting for furniture so most of our downstairs is out of place. Den has done everything he could possibly do to prep the family room. Furniture is either stored in the basement or routed to new homes in other rooms. The family room is freshened...and now we just wait. in house stylist...Den...feels the need for throw pillows for the he may zip out for a few...our choices are T.J.Maxx or Pottery Barn.

I just want my family room back...the girls and I have been stuck upstairs since late afternoon yesterday.

And all of our visitors have been upstairs with us, too. wonderful PT...we did exercises and our walking workout upstairs...much to Roxie's delight. Roxie is totally infatuated with Johanna. She crawls into Johanna's lap while I do exercises. Johanna holds her and directs me!

Then at around 7:00 at night this wonderful Mary Poppins like Visiting Nurse came to change my seaweed wound bandage. She is the "after hours" nurse and could not have been more amazing and kind! She has been a nurse for over 40 years! She covers all of the people who didn't get covered by 4:00 and she is on call until 8:00 in the morning! She was inspirational!

Yesterday was a long day. I could barely keep my eyes open for Survivor! The good news for me is that even though I am still waking up during the night...I can fall back to sleep again more quickly! Last night I didn't even move to my big pink chair! It was heavenly! But...I am still getting a recliner for that corner of our of these...I think during the next few months I might need it and although I love my pink's just not comfortable. I had a visit from a friend who just went through Chemotherapy. She has the same sleep issues I have. She says as soon as she wakes that dreaded 2 or 3 o'clock time...she sneaks downstairs to her family room with a book...gets into her recliner and falls sound asleep! I want that for me!

I am off to walk and wait...I need to save energy to help Den put the family room in order later.

Oh! I got my hair lobbed yesterday! It's a short bob and my head feels so much lighter!

Thinking of all of you! Enjoy this lovely day!